Air Force Jokes

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Theo
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Air Force Jokes

Post by Theo » Sat 6. Feb 2010, 11:05

Let's hear your air force jokes, memories and air force funny sayings. I'll start with this one.

Phone Etiquette
Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new Colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the Colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone, "Yes General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir."

Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, "What do you want?"

"Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hook up your telephone."
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Re: Air Force Jokes

Post by Theo » Sat 6. Feb 2010, 15:07

Hey Buddy

Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"

Soldier: "Sure, buddy."

Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again!"

Officer: " Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?"

Soldier: "No, SIR!"
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Re: Air Force Jokes

Post by Theo » Wed 10. Feb 2010, 05:32

Telling Time

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.

One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"

The tower responded, "Who is calling?"

The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"

The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If you’re an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If you’re an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If you’re a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If you’re a Marine Corps aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. But if you’re an Army aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to "Happy Hour!!!".
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Re: Air Force Jokes

Post by Theo » Mon 15. Feb 2010, 01:24

Only One Time Before

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign "Speedbird 206":

Speedbird 206: "Top of the morning, Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active runway."

Ground: "Guten Morgen. You vill taxi to your gate."

The big British Airways 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by a moment, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."

Ground (with arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, haff you never flown to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly): Yes, I have, actually, in 1944. In another type of Boeing, but just to drop something off. I didn't stop."
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Re: Air Force Jokes

Post by Theo » Sat 20. Feb 2010, 04:19

Breakfeast

Do you know what they used to feed German Fliers for breakfast?

"LuftWaffels."
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Re: Air Force Jokes

Post by SSG_Tank » Sun 21. Feb 2010, 12:39

at lunch time in a joint Army and Airforce training facility a young privat and a young airman happen to wander in to the latrien at the same time to take a leak.

they both finish about the same time and the airman heads to the sink and the privat heads for the door

The airman says to the privat "dont they teach you to wash your hands when your done taking a leak in the army?"

the privat replys "Nope in the Army they teach us not to piss on our hands!"

GO ARMY HOOAH!!!!!!

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Re: Air Force Jokes

Post by Theo » Sun 21. Feb 2010, 14:18

O.K. Soldier, you mess w. the Air Force,.. here's the revenge ;)

At lunch time in a joint Army and Air Force training facility a young private and a young airman happen to wander into the latrine at the same time to take a leak.

They both finish about the same time and the private heads to the sink while the airman heads for the door

The private says to the airman "Doesn't the Air Force teach you to wash your hands when you're done taking a leak?"

The airman replies "Nope, ...not needed my friend. In the Air Force we use to wash our hands before we start taking a leak!"

Harrh HarrH Haaarh!!!!
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Re: Air Force Jokes

Post by Theo » Mon 22. Feb 2010, 01:19

Tracers work both ways. ;)
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Artificial Intelligence

Post by Theo » Mon 1. Mar 2010, 00:36

Artificial Intelligence

Sadly, artificial intelligence will probably never be a match for natural stupidity.

— Bill Cox aviation writer.
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Re: Air Force Jokes

Post by Treinarts » Wed 12. May 2010, 15:20

Funny. I was stationed at Ramstein 76, 77 and 78. I was Army, attached to an Air Defense Artillary Batallion.
The Army v Air Force jokes brought back alot of memories. Drove up and down the autobaun in a Yellow 1966 Mustang with a 6 in it. Have a nephew headed to Korbach. North of Frantfurt. Small world. TJR

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